In February of this year, I arrived at the Samasati Wellness Resort in Costa Rica to be part of a life changing retreat. It was already night and everything was dark. Our bus driver left us in front of a big wooden gate. From this gate, we drove around three kilometers up into the deep jungle of beautiful Cahuita.
The drive through the jungle in the night was so mystical and I felt so excited. When we arrived, this magical place amazed me so much.
Looking back at this point in my life I didn´t know how much this journey would transform my life…
I was struggling with anxiety and panic attacks for years and I wanted to heal. This was my main reason to take part in this retreat. Besides that, I often had depressive episodes. These episodes were so intense that I lost any hope for a joyful life. I couldn’t see any sense in it.
I was doing therapy for almost 2 years. This helped me to see what the reasons were that I felt like this. Also, It was good to recognize why I was falling into these deep wholes of hopelessness. Although this therapy was a good way to start my way to healing, it didn’t help me much to overcome my anxiety.
I did a lot of yoga, meditation, and sports. And all these things helped me in my daily life. But there was still something deep inside. Something which put me in a loop into these dark places of strong anxiety and depression. This didn’t allow me to see my life’s purpose.
Then, I had a call for Ayahuasca, 3 years ago. But for me, it was never the right point in my life until October last year.
While I was feeling very bad about my emotions again, I saw Sandra‘s Account on Instagram. She was promoting the Inner Flight Retreat. At that moment I had straight the feeling that it was the right time and the right place to finally meet Ayahuasca. Sandra‘s appearance and way of talking gave me immediately a feeling of safety and trust. I felt in my whole body that this was my call. Luckily I answered it with a yes.
And my feeling was right.
It was the best decision I ever made. I am so grateful that I heard my intuition instead of the voices of fear in my head.
I had a lot of fear, to be honest. Especially about taking Ayahuasca and Kambo. Also about giving up every control with no idea what to expect. But I also knew that going out of my comfort zone, and facing my fears, traumas, and shadows, was the right way to heal.
Now I am sitting here, recognizing that these medicines transformed my life completely. But not only the medicines. The shamans, the team, and the other participants. They showed me that there are people in this world who feel the same as me. It was the first time in my life, that I had the feeling of having a family. A place where you can be who you are without any judgment. A place where you feel safe and held at every time.
Now I am enjoying a big emotional and physical release. I am so thankful that so many doors in my life opened up for me after this retreat. Of course I had some hard decisions to take but I knew they will be good for me.
The Inner Flight Retreat has been so beneficial for my life. Now, I am enjoying the benefits of the experiences and teachings which I received.
After the Inner Flight Retreat, I started to be so interested in these medicines and the path of healing. So, I decided to go to the Oni Nai Retreat in Peru to have a master plant dieta with the shamans. I wanted to become a shipibo-konibo apprentice of Francisco Ventura Garcia and Tessy Ventura.
My whole life changed within around eight months. Today I am free of my strong anxiety and panic attacks. I am so much stronger than before.
I learned so many things about life, medicines, and the spiritual path. None of this would have happened if I hadn‘t decided to do the Inner Flight Retreat in February this year.
I am grateful from the bottom of my heart that this place, this retreat, and these people are existing. Thanks for showing me that a way of deep and true healing is possible.
Tons of love for you.
Marcella Blochinger | Yoga teacher, nutrition coach, and facilitator for the Inner Flight Retreat.